


The Raven

by link621



Series: The Raven [3]
Category: X/1999
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-01
Updated: 2004-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-25 10:09:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/link621/pseuds/link621
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year before the destined year, seeing Subaru again drives Seishirou to the brink of insanity. As such, he contemplates the nature of the relationship between them. Inspired by The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. This story also has a spiritual successor in The Way It Is and Echo. This is without a doubt my magnum opus of the X/1999/TB fandom. It does make me feel better to know how much my writing has improved since this, yikes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Raven

  
I spent many an evening quietly attempting to enjoy a book at home. Of course, it was only so long before the tree would quite suddenly become hungry and complain or I would find myself distracted by the prospect of tracking down the man I preyed upon. It was far easier than it should have been; the Sumeragi heir was both careful and naive by nature, leaving plenty of room for me to observe him, as long as I wasn’t sloppy in hiding my tracks.  
  
The final destined day had almost arrived... nothing I did was sloppy. Not that I have ever been known to be sloppy, but I have made one very big error on account of the aforementioned Sumeragi. As a result, I have become even more careful... more precise. I am not really human, therefore I am not allowed human error.  
  
As I said, though, I was trying to enjoy a book, as I often did, when Subaru crossed my thoughts. Normally, there was prelude to this kind of stimulation, so I could only guess that Subaru was in trouble. Gently poking at our connection through the marks, I could clearly feel his terror. I don’t know what it was, but he was faced with something truly awful. I could tell he wasn’t actually in danger, Subaru never becomes frightened in a tight spot, but something was really disturbing him.   
  
Interested, or possibly better described as morbidly fascinated, I stood, abandoning “Moby Dick” on the table beside my only comfy chair. On the one hand, I would miss the captivating story of the blind hatred of the good captain... on the other hand, I already knew how the book would end. These stories of the self-destructive desire to destroy something that is equally hated and loved always end the same.   
  
I followed the magically “lighted” path to where I knew Subaru was. It wasn’t a long walk, a half-mile at most. By the time I caught up to him, his horror had not subsided, but I could tell that some reason had finally found its way to the forefront of his mind. Subaru in hysterics, after all, we never a pretty thing. I could only assume that someone had slapped him in the face to wake him up.  
  
Carefully wrapping an illusion around myself, I waltzed into the high-class apartment completely unnoticed. The entry way led to a large, spacious living room with two couches, big-screen TV, every kind type of thinkable modern electronic from a DVD player to a laptop, a mini bar, two men, one woman, and a child of no more than five years of age. One of the men and the woman were dressed like cops. The other man was in hysterics, gently cradling the child in his arms. He was covered in blood, but appeared unhurt. I was starting to get a vague idea of why Subaru was so upset.   
  
Moving past the living room, I followed a distinct trail of dry blood on almost too-white carpet to a door at the end of the hall. It was the only room with the light on. Gently, I pushed the door open, careful to wrap my illusion around the door as well, so it would not appear as though the door had moved. Inside, I was met with a horrifying sight indeed.   
  
The first thing that registered was the overpowering smell of blood that I hadn’t noticed before. How, I don’t know. Next, I was able to register, in my own planar vision, the bright splatters of blood that graced every wall and very nearly coated the broken mirror hung over the sink. The shower curtain had been torn from above the western-style bathtub, and the rod meant to hold it had fallen so hard that the white and black tiles cracked around where it fell. Hunched in front of the bathtub, wearing black jeans, a dark t-shirt, and a towel around his neck, was the head of the Sumeragi clan.  
  
Subaru was shaking. I could already see it from where I stood. Curious, I took a couple silent steps forward to peer over his shoulder. Even as an assassin... even without any human emotion, my stomach did a flip at the sight.   
  
The tub was entirely filled to the brim with thick, dark red liquid—almost the color of a deep red wine. I didn’t have to be any closer than I was to know what it really was, though. What appeared to be thick, dark hair was trailing on the surface, and I could make out the vague outlines of human forms under the liquid. I caught sight of part of a face, more or less masculine in nature, on the opposite side of the tub from where the hair was. I could only assume that meant two sets of chopped up body parts were in there rather than just one. Or... at least I secretly hoped that hair did not belong to the face several feet away.  
  
Just when I thought it wasn’t going to get any worse for my prey, he gently lifted one hand, ironically bearing a black glove with a white cross, and plunged his arm elbow-deep into the blood, chanting quietly. I could see, from the look on his face, it was one of the worst experiences he had ever faced. I could only imagine what that hand had encountered when it sank beneath the relatively concealing liquid. Before long, the blood began to give off an eerie almost glow, and I suddenly felt what it was Subaru was trying to get rid of. There was some sort of evil spirit—possibly a very ill-willed demon, that was lurking in that bathtub. It had surely been the one to kill those two people in the bathtub.   
  
In Subaru’s current condition, there was no way he was going to be able to fight that murderous... thing. My stomach clenched. I was caught between dropping the mariboshi, freaking Subaru out, and killing the demon for him or simply waiting for him to lose on his own and then killing the demon for him. So, silently I sat, my hands clenched at my sides, and watched.  
  
When the thing finally reviled itself, it was surprisingly small... almost fox like. It began to howl in an unnerving way that raised the hair on my arms and made Subaru trip over one of the words in his spell as he drew his hand from the blood in the bathtub. A sudden sound from the door caused both of us to turn, seeing the man in the doorway who had been cradling the child a moment ago, and Subaru let out a cry of disdain.  
  
“Sakamoto-san! You have to leave!” Subaru was on his feet in an instant, jumping to try to save the man he’d called Sakamoto. But, the demon beat him there, viciously ripping apart the middle-aged man practically in Subaru’s arms. Blood splattered all over the ohmyouji, the walls, the floor, and only avoided me because of the illusion. Something thicker than blood trailed down the side of Subaru’s face, and his eyes went wide in shock. I could already see him begging to hyperventilate.  
  
Okay, this was getting too dangerous. I summoned my shiki-gami and dropped the mariboshi, hearing a cry of disbelief from the demon that was promptly attacked by the amazing spirit eagle that came to my call. I caught Subaru as he fell, throwing out every convenient curse that came to mind as I saw the look on his face... as though he had gone within.   
  
“Subaru-kun! Pull yourself together!” I ordered, slapping his face. He blinked slowly once, recognition returning to his eyes, and then he focused on me with horrified emerald eyes. I couldn’t tell if he was afraid more of me or of the thing that was only being partially distracted by the shiki-gami across the room.  
  
“Sei...Seishirou-san!” Subaru scrambled out of my grip, which was just as well because it was about time someone took care of the demon in the bathroom. I gathered power between my fingers, drawing on my connection with the tree, and silently cast a banishing spell—the most powerful one I knew. One last pained, eerie cry, and the demon dissolved into a cloud of sakura petals.   
  
At this point the two officers came in, the man of the two (also the younger) immediately turned around and raced back out. The woman, who looked more weathered and more capable of handling the scene in front of her looked to me questioningly. Wisely, she chose not to ask my identity, and instead asked about Sakamoto.  
  
“Dead,” I replied. “The demon that killed the couple in the bathtub ripped him apart when he came inside.” My tone, as usual, was calm and collected. I could hear Subaru sobbing from somewhere behind me. I didn’t turn... I didn’t want to see the sad picture he made. Unfortunately, I could partially imagine what he looked like simply because my shiki was looking at him from where it perched on my shoulder. My mind kept receiving partial images of what the bird was seeing.   
  
The woman gave a short nod. “Is it gone?” I think the question was meant for Subaru because her eyes wandered away from me. I could tell that she was avoiding looking at the gore for the sake of her sanity. Frankly, I was quite impressed that she was able to make it so far. “Good,” she said suddenly. I could only assume Subaru gave an affirmative nod. “Are you his friend?” She asked, looking at me.  
  
“Childhood friend, yes,” I said simply. “We met through work,” I added. It was sort of a lie. More, it was enough of a truth to assure that Subaru wouldn’t object and to make the woman trust me. All I needed was enough trust from her to get myself out of the room without a trip to the police station. “I would like to get him home, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“I think that is for the best,” the woman agreed, excusing herself.   
  
I went to Subaru and knelt beside him, putting my arms around his shoulders. He threw himself into my chest, despite what reluctance he must have felt in being near me, the one who had killed his precious sister, and began to sob. We sat there, in the awful room, choked by the smell of blood, for nearly five minutes while Subaru sobbed. When that was over, he went to the toilet and proceeded to be violently ill. This only made him cry more.  
  
When I figured he was done, I took Subaru by the shoulders, guiding out of the apartment the way I had entered. As soon as we crossed the threshold into the hallway, I wrapped us in an illusion so we would not draw attention walking around covered in blood and (in Subaru’s case, anyway) guts. Numbly, Subaru let me lead him back to my apartment, surprisingly not fighting me even once the whole way, though he shivered terribly. It took us three times as long as it had taken me to get to the apartment where his job was, but it felt even longer because Subaru stumbled and had to stop frequently. Once to vomit again.  
  
He wasn’t about to handle the stairs, so I simply hefted him in my arms, and carried him to my door where my blood-slick hands made it impossible to get the key in the lock. Irritated, I simply used magic to unlock the door and put my clean shoulder against the door with enough force to open it, closing and locking it in the same manner once we were inside. I glanced around the room, my eyes falling on the white leather sofa. I wasn’t about to put a bloody man on white leather, so I went through the bedroom into the bathroom.  
  
I set Subaru gently on the floor, leaning him against the edge of the bathtub, and went to the shower, turning on the water. I let it run so the water would reach a comfortable temperature, and went back to Subaru. He was quietly crying again. Honestly, I would have expected him to take this better, after what I did to him. It was the only way I could think of to make him someone capable of killing; someone who could live through 1999. I guess I failed.  
  
I knelt in front of Subaru, taking his hands in mine. I gently pulled off the gloves, though they were reluctant to be removed because the drying blood made the fabric horribly sticky. After getting those off, I looked to the shirt. It became clear right away that the stickiness of the blood was going to prevent me from pulling the shirt over his head, so I made a small tear in the bottom of the shirt and then ripped open the front, gently pushing it over Subaru’s shoulders as though it was a jacket being removed. Subaru made a noise of protest as I did so, but didn’t have the energy to rightfully fight me.  
  
“Subaru-kun, I need to get you clean. You can try to kill me all you want after you’ve had a shower and some sleep.” My fingers fumbled with the button of the pants, which was irritatingly slick, and it took me nearly a fully minute to actually get the pants to his knees even after getting them unbuttoned because the saturated cloth was fighting me. It only dawned on me after I got his pants half down that I needed to remove his shoes and socks. So, I took care of that, removed the pants, and then looked to the pair of boxers he wore.   
  
“I’ll get it,” Subaru grumbled, sounding quite irritated. He must have caught my gaze because he reached for the elastic of the boxers. I just flashed him a smile.   
  
I stood, going to the closet and pulled out two towels. After that, I undressed myself, which was a relatively easy task compared to how hard it had been to get Subaru ready for the shower. I went back to Subaru and pulled the younger man to his feet, helping him into the shower. I positioned him so he was getting the brunt of the water flow, and grabbed a washcloth and soap from the tray hanging under the faucet. I gently made him turn so his back was to me, and began to scrub.  
  
It took me nearly an hour to get Subaru’s skin clean to his satisfaction. At that point, I turned my attention to his hair. Most of the blood had washed out just with the constant water flow, but it was still ratted and had dark clumps that I assumed were from matted dry blood. It took five different attempts at shampooing his hair and then one run with the conditioner before he was content with the cleanliness of his hair. Another minute in the water, and he began to shiver again. At least, now, he was clean.  
  
I turned off the water and guided Subaru gently out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist and then helping him to partially dry off before wrapping that towel around his waist. I went to the sink and ran the water until the sink was filled with almost unbearably hot water, and sat Subaru on the toilet. When he angled to the side, he could easily rest his hands in the water. The soak would get anything unsightly out from under his fingernails, and it would likely make him feel a little more comfortable with his hands.  
  
Figuring Subaru would survive on his own just fine for a couple minutes, I went back into the bedroom, drying myself off, and grabbed two pairs of boxers, two over-sized t-shirts, my only pair of flannel pants, and a bath robe. I put on one of the pairs of boxers, one of the t-shirts, and took the remaining clothing in to the bathroom where Subaru was looking blankly at the surface of the water. “Subaru-kun, I brought you some clothes,” I told him dispassionately.   
  
Subaru’s head raised and he gave me a small, grateful nod. “Thank you, Seishirou-san.” His voice was steady, deep, and held almost no signs of the hysterics he had been in a little over an hour before. He removed his hands from the water, drying them on the towel around his waist, and put on the clothes that I had provided him—all of which were comically oversized on him.   
  
“You need some sleep, Subaru-kun,” I insisted flatly, taking his hand and dragging him back to the bedroom. I managed to somehow coax him into my bed, and he didn’t protest when I slid in beside him—much. I took him in my arms, pulling him against me. It was, if for no other reason, to keep him warm. People in shock, even mild shock, often become very cold.   
  
“Good night, Seishirou-san.” Subaru whispered, surprising me a little. I smirked into his hair, amused by his gentle, polite nature that was showing itself despite everything that had happened. In fact, I was more than a little impressed that he had been so accepting all night. I was going to have to do something if he was still feeling so reluctant to hate me. If he was going to kill me, this would never do.  
  
Before I knew what was happening, I nodded off into a light, restless sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
I woke sometime in the middle of the night. It couldn’t have been any later than three thirty, and I was snapped awake from a noise in the living room area of the apartment. Subaru had since rolled out of my arms, taking most of the covers with him, so it was easy enough to get up without disturbing him. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and made my way into the living room.   
  
There was nothing. I gently probed in each direction with my magic, and there was nothing at all in the room. So, I plopped down in the couch, sighing in disbelief in my own stupidity. For an assassin, I sure could be paranoid. Shaking my head, I let my eyes fall closed. I must have dozed off, because when I opened my eyes again, it was to a dream.  
  
“Sei-chan! What are you doing taking a nap! This is Subaru’s very sanity we’re talking about, here!” Sumeragi Hokuto whacked me upside the head. I could only assume I had done something to deserve it. I couldn’t be sure what it was, but knowing Hokuto, she would enlighten the entire room, and possibly half of Tokyo, in a minute. “Don’t you see him going insane in silence? He isn’t old enough to be intimate with you, and it is killing him inside!”  
  
Oh.   
  
I began to laugh. I guess I should have expected as much from Hokuto.  
  
“Hokuto-chan!” Subaru whined, drawing my attention to the sixteen-year-old boy who was just coming out of his bedroom behind me. It hadn’t dawned on me to look around until then, but I could tell that we were in the Sumeragi apartment. “Honestly, I don’t know who puts these thoughts in your head!” Subaru wasn’t blushing, but it was probably only because he was too tired to be concerned by what Hokuto was saying in his normal way.  
  
“You don’t want me, Subaru-kun?” I asked, sounding quite hurt. He looked to me, now with a deep blush, and stuttered something incoherent that was meant to be a reply. “All this time, I thought you saw me as sexy....” Subaru’s eyes went wide, and his jaw went slack. He couldn’t even find the words to defend himself.  
  
“Oh ho, ho, ho, ho!” Hokuto laughed evilly, putting one hand, palm out, over her mouth. “Subaru, you don’t have to hide your desires from your future husband!” She laughed more, and I joined in. Subaru, on the other hand, sputtered something quietly to dismiss himself, and went back into the bathroom so red that I thought he might start bleeding out the ears.   
  
“Hokuto-chan, you are too cruel to your brother,” I commented, an ironic smirk gracing my lips. The girl looked to me, her emerald eyes suddenly very dark and serious, and I couldn’t even imagine what was going through her head in that moment. I gave her a questioning look, appearing, as always, excessively cute for the sake of maintaining the guise of the friendly neighborhood veterinarian.   
  
“No, Sei-chan, you are too cruel to the one who loves you the most.” Hokuto turned from me, so she missed my eyes widening. What she had said was painfully reminiscent of what my mother had said as she died. I looked away, my eyes concentrating distinctly on my shoes, trying to hide my surprise. I guess I had never considered before then why I desired to be killed by Subaru in ’99.  
  
It was beautiful... to be killed by the one that loved you the most....  
  
I blinked, my eye coming to focus on my own apartment in the present. It was still dark, and I was flopped to one side on the couch, which had molded comfortably to my shape. I looked around once, as I stood, convinced that whatever I heard had been no more than a trick of the wind, and went back into my bedroom, noting that it was in fact a little past four in the morning when my eyes fell on the digital clock.   
  
I crawled back under the blanket with Subaru, wrapping my arms back around him. He stirred a little, but seemed more than happy to cuddle back into my embrace. In his sleep, he mumbled something that sounded vaguely like my name, and snuggled his face into my shoulder. Again, the cold smirk met my lips, but I let him sleep, and eventually drifted off as well.  
  
~*~  
  
When I woke again, it was to the empty bedroom. It was still dark, but my best guess was that it was due to the heavy drapes that hung over the windows. I rolled over, looking at the clock, and found it was, indeed, a little past nine in the morning. I started to get up, wondering at how much clothing I had slept in, but I was stopped by a gentle hand on my back. It slid under the shirt to rest over my spine where the muscles formed a groove.   
  
“Don’t.” The single word hung in the air, echoing in the silence of my mind. I was truly losing my touch if I had managed to overlook that Subaru was still beside me in the bed. I hung my head, a small smirk touching my lips, and, as per his request, didn’t move.  
  
“Subaru-kun,” I said, as though it was a reply, and turned to face him. He looked confused, hurt, scared, lost, angry, and heartbroken all in one. Those huge, expressive, emerald eyes were obviously fighting to control one or all of these emotions while he reached for me. My smirk grew. There’s nothing quite like a reminder of something awful to ruin a romantic mood. “Subaru-kun, your clothes are basically beyond salvaging after last night, so I will lend you something to wear. You don’t have to worry.” Ah, and there was the heartbreak on the surface. It was quickly replaced by anger.  
  
“Seishirou-san, I never asked you to help me. I don’t even want to know how and why you came.” Subaru pulled his hand back, sitting up so the blankets pooled in his lap. He closed his eyes, his hand going to his temple, as though to ward off a headache; which meant me, of course. I was like a chronic migraine, I’m sure. “But... thank you for your hospitality. I feel better now. And....” Subaru trailed off, opening his eyes. “It is grudgingly good to see you are alive... after wondering about you for eight years. I thought the first time I would see you would be....”  
  
“The destined year,” I commented dryly, completing the thought for him. “My, Subaru-kun, you are the mystery. I was wondering why you had been accepting so many jobs in Tokyo, but I suppose that it makes sense that you would be searching for me; the one who took away your precious sister.” Subaru shot me a venomous look after I said that, his hands clenching into fists around the blanket. “Oh, don’t worry, Subaru-kun, I have no intention of fighting you until 1999. Besides, without your oufada, and in your condition, you should hardly be challenging the Sakurazukamori. Am I right?”  
  
The look on Subaru’s face was positively precious. If looks could kill, I would be within an inch of my life. Subaru pushed away the covers, standing shakily out of the bed, and made his way to my dresser. “I will take you up on that offer of clothes,” he explained, sounding none-too-happy with the concept. I watched in amusement as he looked at the dresser in disgust. Yes, I knew he saw the white shirts and black slacks all lined up. He was probably wondering if I just bought enough of them so they could be disposable.  
  
He would be right, of course.  
  
Finally, he found a short-sleeved black dress shirt that I was particularly fond of, and a pair of dark blue jeans that I knew would be huge on him and went into the bathroom to get changed. In the meantime, I went out into the kitchen to make myself some coffee and maybe poke around for something to eat for breakfast. Settling on rice, simply because it was fast and easy, I began to prepare enough for two. Subaru came out of the bedroom a moment later, drying his hair with a towel and wearing my clothes.   
  
“Breakfast will be ready in about three minutes, Subaru-kun,” I informed him with a sunny smile. He didn’t seem to moved by the statement. In fact, he looked at me like I was the bane of his existence. Which, I suppose, I am.  
  
“I don’t eat breakfast, Seishirou-san. I never have since Hokuto-chan died.” The accusation in Subaru’s voice was enough to instill a great deal of concern in most people. I just continued to smile. “I will be leaving now, Seishirou-san. Thank you for your hospitality.”  
  
I intercepted Subaru at the door, throwing an arm in front of him as a blockade. He stopped, looking up to meet my eyes, and those beautiful eyes held such contempt. Maybe I had been wrong? Maybe I didn’t fail with Subaru. Maybe, just maybe, he would become a person who could kill by the time we faced eachother in the destined year. I took his chin in my free hand, and he didn’t fight me.  
  
Or maybe not.  
  
My hand dropped, a moment later clasping around his throat, at the same time throwing him against the wall. He still wasn’t fighting me, despite the lack of air. He was just looking at me with sad, gem-like eyes. “Subaru-kun, you really are cute,” I whispered, my lips falling upon his. With the contact, I could feel him trembling for lack of air. Again, despite this, he returned the kiss almost shyly.  
  
I pulled away, just as he was settling into the kiss, and released his throat. He crumpled to the ground, gasping for air, and I let him. “Never forget, Subaru-kun, what I am and what I am capable of.” I went back into the kitchen with a whistle of some unknown tune, and began scooping rice into a bowl for myself. I heard rustling behind me, and then the sound of the door opening. When it closed, I held up one arm, elbow akimbo, and called my shiki-gami.  
  
The eagle looked at me pointedly, as though it had something to say to me. I just smiled back at it. “Follow the Sumeragi,” I ordered. It took off obediently and flew through the wall to pursue Subaru. I took my bowl and went to the kitchen table, sitting down with the morning post and was just starting to read the first article when I felt something tugging in my mind.  
  
::I’m hungry, Sakurazukamori.::  
  
“Of all the bloody times,” I muttered. I glanced to the fax machine, which was, of course, empty, and sighed heavily. I went to the bedroom, grabbing one of my many disposable suits, and quickly got dressed. “You know, I’m hungry too. I was about to eat breakfast.” I was just putting my arms through the sleeves of my sport coat as I was tempted by the still-steaming cup of rice on the table.  
  
::Heat it up later and eat it. I can’t exactly do the same with the blood of your victims.::  
  
“You’re sick,” I grumbled to the spirit of the tree, grabbing my keys and opening the front door. I went out into the hallway, already trying to think of where to start in finding someone unsavory to feed to the tree. I could think of several places, but none of them seemed like they would be open this early in the morning. Then again, the people in the government buildings were just starting work...  
  
::If you hadn’t been so distracted last night and had fed me properly, we wouldn’t be in this position.::  
  
I pushed the tree’s voice out of my mind, and made my way to the slums, knowing that I would be least likely to encounter the police or angry family members there. My small smirk plastered to my face, I left all thoughts of Subaru in my apartment for another day.  
  
~*~  
  
When I got home, it was almost one in the afternoon, and I was almost too irritated to eat, but I was also very hungry. I did as the tree had suggested, heating up the rice, and then looked around the kitchen for something else to eat. Settling on instant ramen, I plopped down on the couch with the paper, and again made an attempt at reading while eating. As I suspected, though, I was not particularly interested in any of the headlines. Sighing, I put down the ramen and closed my eyes.  
  
The vision of my shiki instantly flooded into my mind. It was perched on what appeared to be the entrance to a shrine. In front of it was Lady Sumeragi and Subaru, talking quietly by a koi pond. The bird could hear just fine what they were saying, but didn’t really seem to care, focused more intently on the temptation of the fish in the pond. I sighed, wondering how I had ended up with such a shiki-gami, and tried silently convince it to pay more attention to the clan head and former clan head.  
  
::But.. I’m hungry:: The bird protested. This was, of course, ridiculous because the bird did not feed off of physical things like fish. It fed off of the magic that I supplied it, which had been lacking over the past couple hours while I dealt with the other beggar with which I was unfortunate enough to be mentally connected.  
  
The true curse of the Sakurazukamori was that... to have the ability to communicate with the tree. Not to mention, all ohmyouji could communicate with at least their own shiki-gami if not all shiki-gami. I had never doubted Subaru’s spiritual power because, if for no other reason, he could communicate with my shiki-gami, as well as maintain one of his own that had three heads, and therefore, three separate thought processes.   
  
“Yeah, yeah, you and the tree both,” I replied, with very little sympathy in my voice. “I was feeding it. That is why I neglected you,” I added in after thought, simply because I could tell I had ruffled the eagle’s feathers—literally. “But, I want to hear what Subaru-kun is saying, so please do me this favor. I will let you rest soon.” The bird seemed to like that idea, so it fixed its attention back on the two powerful ohmyouji in the garden.  
  
“You ran into the Sakurazukamori again, didn’t you, Subaru-san?” Lady Sumeragi didn’t sound accusing, as she might of years before. If anything, she sounded concerned and a little upset.  
  
“Ah.” Subaru’s short reply was not followed for a long time. Finally, he knelt at the side of the koi pond and trailed un-gloved fingers through the water. “Obaa-san, I found him in Tokyo.” It was hard to say whether Subaru was apologizing, announcing something good, or simply being entirely indifferent.   
  
“I knew you would, Subaru-san. But, you are not to return there for another year.” Subaru, looking shocked, turned and stood all in one elegant motion that might have been beautiful in more flattering clothing, like a long coat. Wearing the clothes he had borrowed from me, it looked like nothing more than an action anyone might take.   
  
“Obaa-san!”  
  
“Subaru-san, you will be in danger if you continue to pursue him. I can only hold you back until the destined year when you will be sure to face him, so I will do so. You should be contented to know that he is still alive so you can get your revenge for your sister and parents.” The former clan head’s tone was one of finality. She turned from Subaru in her wheelchair and began to make her way back to the house.  
  
“Seishirou-san was not responsible for mother and father!” Subaru blurted out, obviously without thinking, because he slapped his hands over his mouth a moment later. Lady Sumeragi half turned to him, raising a delicate eyebrow.  
  
“Perhaps, Subaru-san.” She continued to make her way into the house. “And perhaps I should question where your loyalties lie. But, these are both issues to be dealt with in a more appropriate situation.” Then, she was gone, leaving the completely miffed Subaru alone in the garden with the fish and the shiki-gami that was silently observing the whole exchange.  
  
“Damnit!” Subaru slammed a fist into the perch where my shiki-gami sat. The bird let out a cry, and Subaru’s eyes instantly darted up to look at it. “Oh, I didn’t notice you there,” he commented sympathetically. One way for ohmyouji to communicate was through shiki-gami, so I thought, for a moment, that he might have been speaking to me. But, the kind smile that met his lips told me otherwise. “Come down here, I won’t hurt you,” he insisted, holding up an arm for the giant eagle to use as a perch.  
  
“My, this is interesting,” I said simply.  
  
::Should I go to him?::  
  
“Do as you like.” My arms folded over my chest, and I continued to watch with interest as the bird spread its wings and circled slowly down to land on the offered arm. To my amusement, Subaru lifted a hand to gently scratch at the feathers at the base of the bird’s head, which brought out a pleased coo from the bird spirit.  
  
“You are very handsome,” Subaru commented gently. “I am sorry I never properly thanked you for last night. I was a little too busy dealing with your block-headed master to find a way to extend my gratitude to you.” Subaru sat slowly, so as not to disturb the majestic bird as he did so. “I guess I will not be seeing you until the destined day, either.”  
  
::Never more::  
  
Subaru looked surprised at the shiki-gami’s words. I laughed. The bird had a twisted sense of humor for sure. Oh, and I just cannot imagine where it got this sick sense of humor from, either.  
  
~*~  
  
A week passed after I last saw hide or hair of the Sumeragi heir and I wasn’t particularly worried about it. Honestly, I was sure he was fine. The Kyoto main house was possibly the safest place in all of Japan for anyone but me. Besides, Subaru could usually take care of himself just fine.  
  
Usually.  
  
I had just finished feeding the tree, and I was smoking what must have been the fourth or fifth cigarette of the day when something caught my eye. I pushed off of the tree gently to have a better look, curious. There were two young teenagers talking to eachother under one of the trees. One was a very small girl with blonde hair and a delicate face. The other was a young man who was tall, built strong though not overly muscular, and had short, spiked, black hair.  
  
“Wai!” The girl twirled through the rain of petals. “It’s so pretty here! Ne, Onii-chan?” She turned to the boy she had just called her brother, and took his hand, dragging him along, giggling as she did so.  
  
“Yes, it is beautiful, Kotori-chan.” The other had a deep voice, low and smooth, that was so friendly it rather reminded me of myself, when I was trying to get Subaru to fall in love with me. He smiled sadly, pulling his hand back and running it through his hair. “Kamui would really love it here. He always thought the sakura were beautiful in springtime.”   
  
Now that was very interesting.   
  
First, I had to wonder if the boy’s name was suggesting what I was thinking. Secondly, if the Kamui they were talking about really was part of the final day, I wondered if these two teenagers would be involved to. I could imagine, with a little training, the young man in front of me could actually become a lot like me. There was something in his eyes that just wasn’t quite as friendly as his personality would suggest... maybe it was the red that bled into the brown. Or maybe I was just seeing things because I could feel power bubbling within him, as though just under his skin. That power was still untapped.  
  
Kotori let out a light laugh. “You really do think of Kamui a lot, don’t you?” Her brother looked surprised for a moment, and then looked away.  
  
“Nee-chan, you love Kamui, and he is like a brother to me already. Of course I’m going to think of him.” The boy put a hand through his hair, letting out a small sigh. “I miss him just as much as you do, Kotori-chan. I hope that someday soon he’ll return to Tokyo.”  
  
I smirked. This boy was like an emotional perversion of myself. And his sister... she was like Hokuto, only quieter and in love with the boy in question instead of being the sister figure. That’s why I was surprised when the small girl suddenly poked her brother in the chest, giving him a hard glare.  
  
“Monou Fuuma you are lying to both of us and we both know it,” she said strictly. The boy, identified as Fuuma, looked away again. “You love him just as much as I do... and... he might love you too, Onii-chan. We won’t know until he comes back and tells us. But, please don’t think I am standing between the two of you. I want you to be happy. You are my most precious people.”   
  
I sneered at the words, though I couldn’t help but think it was like a Hokuto lecture that she might give to Subaru or me or both if we didn’t openly declare love for one another often enough. In other words, most of the lectures fell upon Subaru rather than me, but they hadn’t ever stopped, even when she died.  
  
“Even you have the chance to love, Sei-chan...”  
  
I hadn’t realized I had been looking at my feet until a voice suddenly said, from right in front of me, “Yo.” I looked up to see Fuuma looking at me from a lot closer than he should have been able to get, if I was on top of my game. Obviously, I wasn’t, because I had been tripping up a lot for a few days, which was completely unacceptable.   
  
Kotori was gone, likely skipped off to do something else, or to look at the cute animals, or whatever airheaded girls do, so I addressed Fuuma. “Good afternoon, Monou Fuuma-kun.”  
  
Fuuma smiled at me. “Oh, so you were listening. I was going to apologize for being so noisy. You looked so contented to be thinking here, and we were being so loud, I figured we must have disrupted you Mr...?”  
  
“Sakurazuka Seishirou.”  
  
“Sakurazuka-san, I hope we haven’t been too much trouble.” Fuuma gave a slight bow, that pleasant smile never leaving his face. “Are you here often?” Oh, now that was a question I loved to answer. Sometimes, I would go on the bet tirade, or sometimes just chuckle and nod, or maybe even give a polite yes, but I figured I would do something a little more creative for him.  
  
“I feel at home here, Monou-kun. My most precious person lost his dear sister here... and this is where I met him.” I put a hand back to the tree, which was making snide remarks in my head, and gave the smooth bark a pat. “This tree holds a lot of meaning to the two of us. It is a symbol of the connection we share, if we like it or not.”   
  
Fuuma nodded sympathetically. “I almost lost my sister when she would have fallen from a very tall tree, but Kamui held her hand so she wouldn’t fall despite all of the pain it caused him.....” Fuuma looked up through the branches of the tree. “I guess they are my most precious people... that boy and my sister.”  
  
“Do you love him, as your sister thinks?” The word sounded distinctly wrong coming from my mouth. Maybe it was because I was without emotions... or maybe just because I was such a hateful creature for my apathy. For whatever reason, I nearly hesitated at the word because I am not one to use the word “love” now that I no longer bother with a façade.   
  
“I don’t know, because I have never been in love with anyone but him, if I do love him,” Fuuma said patiently. I had expected him to get flustered. He probably felt comfortable telling me these things because he would never have to see me again and would never have to live up to anything he said. Human nature is to be uncomfortable with any kind of commitment... even to the words we speak. “If I am not in love with him, than I think I am as close as I can get at this point in my life.”  
  
The last comment struck me.  
  
It was true, love was an emotion that was experienced when a person cared deeply for another. I had just never stopped to consider that it was an emotion that would differ for each person—that there is no one way to love. Hokuto had always said that Subaru loved me because he looked up to me, respected me, and treated me as though we were equals, despite the fact that I am older and more experienced. His love was born of friendship, respect, and kindness. All those things were fake, except for the respect.  
  
I did respect Subaru... he was my exception. He is the only person I have ever failed to kill after promising them their death. My mother, Hokuto, countless innocents, and thousands of Japan’s most awful criminals had all fallen to one of my attacks. Subaru was the one who got away—my one mistake.   
  
Yet, I still haven’t killed him, even now, after eight years. He is still alive, and we won’t even face eachother for another year in the end of the world. Does that mean... he is the one I love? Or rather, if it isn’t love, it is what I am capable of that is most like love?  
  
To make an exception, to respect him, and to subconsciously choose him as the one who will take my place as the Sakurazukamori... all of these things are non-emotional reactions, as everything I do is, but they are still deviations from how I view the rest of the world. Every person is an object to me worth no more than glass. But, if that is the case, then Subaru is the finest glass statue that I can’t quite bring myself to shatter, though I have managed to chip away a little near the base....  
  
“Do you have someone you love, Sakurazuka-san?” Fuuma was still in front of me. I had nearly forgotten, I was so lost in thought. He looked a little perplexed, as though he recent confession had thrown him into unexpected inner turmoil.  
  
“I’m not sure,” I said without thinking. In retrospect, the answer should have easily been “no”. “There is someone who loves me more than anyone else... and I think I feel the same way about him as you described. What I feel for him is as close as I might ever get to being in love. I’ve known him for seventeen years, and I am now thirty four... so I feel a bit foolish to be just as confused as a teenager.” I didn’t like how out-of-character I was starting to sound. This boy was a master of unnerving me, which was, in and of itself, unnerving.  
  
“I think only the most foolish people will ever find true love,” was all Fuuma had to say in reply. He gave a small bow, excusing himself, and wandered off to find his sister. With a thoughtful smile, I leaned against the tree, lighting another cigarette.  
  
::Those things will kill you one day.::  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
~*~  
  
I put a hand to my nose, coming away with blood. I wasn’t alarmed, in fact, I found myself amused by the fact that blood looked nice against the pale skin of my palm. It was unfortunate to think that I would soon be fighting with the stickiness of the thick liquid, prying my fingers apart, once it had a minute to dry. The damn stuff was like cement, when it got to that point. What did alarm me a little was that my nose kept bleeding, and for no reason.   
  
I went to the sink, washing my hands and my nose as best I could, grabbing a cloth to soak up the blood that continued to pour from my nose. I recognized this reaction as one way of taking magical backlash, but it had been years since backlash had effected me at all. I had diverted it when I was younger and still weak, but after years of practice, I never had problems with it. There was absolutely no good reason that this should be happening to me.  
  
When the bleeding finally stopped, I discarded the rag in the trash, bloody beyond repair, and washed my face and hands again. I felt a little woozy from the blood loss, which was a bad sign after a mere bloody nose, so I sat on the edge of the tub, staring at myself in the mirror.   
  
Broad shoulders, defined chest, tight stomach, long legs, slightly tanned skin, messy dark hair....   
  
But, I didn’t see something beautiful in that mirror. I saw one cream-colored eye that signaled the only stupid thing I had ever done. My winning the bet... it should have been unconditional. Subaru, despite what happened, should have lost one of those gem-like eyes on that day. But, I just couldn’t let that woman take one of those precious emeralds from me. He was mine... my beautiful piece of glass....  
  
I raised one hand to my eye, closing it so I was blind, and gazed at myself in the mirror with the one clouded eye. I couldn’t see myself, but I didn’t have to. I knew very well I looked just the same, only without the hunter’s eye. With this part of my face covered, there were only flaws and weaknesses left behind. The Sakurazukamori should not have either of these things. What would Kaa-san think?   
  
I opened my eyes again and was met with a surprise. My reflection did not look the same as me, anymore. He was younger, had two perfect eyes, and was smirking at me. I could only assume I was delirious, or that the tree was playing with my head using some sort of mariboshi. “Who are you?” I asked, standing from the bathtub in unison with the weird reflection.   
  
“I’m Sakurazuka Seishirou, of course,” the other man said, as though it was obvious. I guess it was, but I thought maybe there would be a better explanation than that. “The question is... who are you?”  
  
“The same,” I replied instantly, rolling my eyes. It reminded me of the scene with the very high caterpillar in “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” which I have been reading since I finished “Moby Dick”. Ahab, sure, I am willing to be likened to a man who is chasing after his white whale... but there was no way I was going to be willingly compared to Alice.  
  
“No,” said my reflection with a laugh. “You are the Sakurazukamori. I am the black ohmyouji who will fight in the destined year. You are nothing but a murderer and a liar.” This was all delivered in my own sing-song voice. I was just giving the reflection a weird look. Maybe it was on drugs just like the caterpillar.   
  
“I missed the part where I am supposed to care,” I replied smoothly. “If this is about the Sumeragi heir, then we are one in the same. You and I have both betrayed him, and I don’t regret it. He lost the bet he made with me and with the tree.” After I said it, I stopped myself. Yes, making Subaru as my prey bound the two of us with the tree, but did it have anything to do with the black ohmyoujitsu of the Sakurazuka family before me? Was it just a trait of the Sakurazukamori?  
  
“I never betrayed him, Sakurazukamori. But, I am also the one who carries your deep regret for what you did. We do have emotions, Sakurazukamori, they are all just trapped within me. You know as well as I do that Subaru did lose the bet, but had it been extended for even a week longer, we would have lost. Killing Hokuto-chan may have been easy, but you will never be able to kill your prey, Sakurazukamori. I won’t let you.” The reflection laughed as I narrowed my eyes. This conversation was ridiculous.  
  
“I’m delirious and I’m talking to myself, so I’m not listening to you anymore.” I turned from the mirror, intent on leaving the bathroom when suddenly, I felt a hand on my wrist. I turned slowly to see the reflection had leaned out of the mirror, and hand my wrist in a death grip. For the first time in my life, I entirely lost my composure, letting out a gasp of sheer shock, and trying to wrench my hand away, to no avail.  
  
“You never do listen to me, Sakurazukamori. But, I want you to hear this one thing. You will die in 1999. And when you do, you will feel that regret that I feel and finally have to admit to Subaru-kun what it is that you have really been feeling all these years. You may insist he is nothing but glass, but I assure you, Seishirou, when he kills you, you will understand differently.” As soon as it finished talking, the reflection disappeared back into the mirror becoming, once again, my own reflection.   
  
I turned on a heel immediately and stalked over to the door. Throwing it open to what should have been my bedroom, I was instead brought back to consciousness. I blinked twice, sitting up a little stiffly in my bed, letting my blankets pool over my bare lap, and put my face in my hands. That was the weirdest dream I have ever had, and it certainly didn’t make much sense. The person who had been the veterinarian was not a real person, and a man named Sakurazuka Seishirou would never be separate from the title Sakurazukamori.  
  
I glanced at the clock. It was a little after one in the afternoon, but I was sleeping during the day in order to do a job at night, so it didn’t surprise me to see the time. Of course, it meant that I had only been asleep for two hours, since I had spent my morning with the tree and that Monou Fuuma kid, so I lay back into bed not bothering to pull the sheets back up, and hugged my pillow against my head.  
  
It wasn’t a comforting thought to think that I had finally lost my sanity, even if it was very little sanity to lose and it was due to be lost at any second for the past thirty-three years of my life.  
  
I fell back into an uneasy sleep, plagued by nightmare of some unknown origin.  
  
~*~  
  
It was my first time going to Kyoto, and all I had to say for it was that it was too hot to be wandering around in a black trench coat. I don’t know what made me come here, but before I knew what I was doing, I took leave from my job, bought a train ticket, and found myself in what was considered the spiritual hub of Japan. Being an ohmyouji, I could understand why. I saw countless white ohmyouji, some of which could have easily been Subaru’s relatives, and probably were, and not to mention countless people with shiki-gami of some sort or another.  
  
I was wandering down the street in a residential area when suddenly a young boy ran up to me. I assumed it was to play with the giant eagle that sat on my shoulder. I figured there was no sense in hiding the bird since I was in the company of so many other ohmyouji with shiki. But, instead, the boy looked at me with big gray eyes and grinned ear-to-ear. “You smell like Sakura, ‘Nii-san!” The boy, no more than five, tugged on my coat. “Ne, ne! Is that your shiki! He’s so pretty! I don’t think he likes you much, though. He says you are obnoxious and prey on pretty things. Ne, is he right, ‘Nii-san?”  
  
I blinked twice and then began to laugh, crouching in front of the boy. “You can hear what my shiki says? You must be a powerful ohmyouji indeed.” I extended a hand. “What’s you name?”  
  
“Sumeragi Shiori desu!” I cringed. Not only was he a Sumeragi, but with such a girly named, he would be doomed as a teenager. He seemed to think my expression was funny, because he began to laugh, and shook my hand. “Ne, ne, ‘Nii-san, what’s your name?”  
  
“Sakurazuka Seishirou,” I replied calmly. He was five, so telling him my name wouldn’t cause problems, I hoped. Any of the other Sumeragi clan, and I would probably find myself in shit ten feet deep, or maybe even six feet under.   
  
“Oh, Sei-nii-chan! Subaru-nii-chan talks about you all the time. I don’t think he likes you much, either. But he told me you lied to him, because you didn’t really love him and you killed Hokuto-nee-san.” I couldn’t help but look at the boy in wonder, now. He was young, so maybe it was before he could really understand the weight of his words, but still, the way he was going off in such a cheery way was a little unnerving.   
  
“Subaru-kun is telling you the truth, but not all of it. We made a bet, and he lost. He paid the price. Besides, he was in love with me. I was just telling him what he wanted to hear to help me win the bet.” I stood, releasing the boy’s hand. “Subaru-kun is a really caring person, and is easily hurt, so I want you to take care of him for me. Ne, Shiori-kun?”  
  
“Hai!” Suddenly, the boy turned as we both heard his name called. We both looked up to wear the person had called from and I froze as the boy ran up to the one who had said his name. “Subaru-nii-chan! I met Sei-nii-chan! He’s really nice. He told me to look after you!” I put a pleasant smile on my face as Subaru scowled at me.  
  
“Still in the business of molesting young boys?” Subaru asked almost conversationally, though the pure malice in his voice could not have been missed by a deaf, blind, mute.   
  
“We were having a lovely conversation, Subaru-kun. So kind of you to grace us with your company, I might add.” I glanced to the boy who was now being held in a protective embrace and smiled more. “Ne, Shiori-kun?”  
  
“Yeah! Nii-chan, can we invite him over to dinner?”   
  
“No!” Subaru and I answered simultaneously, both with matching looks of concern. Then, he looked at me and flashed me a wry smile, to which I merely waved off any comment he might make. “Seishirou-san is a very busy man. He is probably in Kyoto on work. Besides, you know how much Obaa-san dislikes having visitors.” Subaru gave Shiori a quick hug, and then patted him on the back. “Go back to Tsukabe-chan. She was looking for you all afternoon.”  
  
“Hai!” with that, the young boy left, skipping off to leave Subaru and me alone in the mid-afternoon Kyoto heat. Subaru watched him go, fondly, and didn’t really drop the expression when he turned back to me.  
  
“Shiori-kun is my heir. Obaa-san is trying to scare the crap out of him by training him and telling him stories about you. Both of which fail.” We laughed at that. “Sometimes, I think he is like Hokuto reborn. His energy and optimism cannot be stopped for any reason. He is someone that just loves life.”  
  
“Most children do, at that age,” I replied, putting my hands in my pockets. There was the implied statement hanging in the air between us that neither of us had a good childhood at that age. I was surrounded by no love, but then again, I wasn’t used to it, so I didn’t expect to be loved. Subaru was surrounded by the aforementioned scary grandmother who was drilling ohmyoujitsu into him even at such a tender age as five.   
  
“Why did you come?” Subaru asked quietly, to shatter the tense silence that hung between us. I glanced up at him to see that he was looking at me with sincere wonder, and maybe even a little hope. I would have to crush that hope, of course, but for now, I might as well let him believe it was to declare my eternal love for him and whisk him off into the sunset.  
  
“You went over the hill and through the woods and never came back,” I commented making reference to an old children’s song. He seemed to find that amusing, because I was graced with one of his gorgeous. real, toothy smiles that I had not seen on his face in so long. “I was worried something had happened to my Subaru-kun,” I added, which stripped him of most of the smile, but his lips still tugged up at the corners.  
  
“My grandmother happened,” Subaru replied. “I never expected you to come to Kyoto, risking your very lively hood for this little game of yours, Seishirou-san.” Ah, there was the wry humor and smile again. I think I like Subaru better now that he has grown a spine and is willing to rebuke anything I throw at him.  
  
“After what happened a few weeks ago, I was concerned,” I said, speaking half-truths. Subaru caught my lie easily, though.  
  
“Concern is an emotion, Seishirou-san. I would believe interested, amused, or jealous,” Subaru said quite rationally. He was listing off things by counting on his fingers, which made him look years younger, just because of the gesture. I could almost imagine him with longer hair, that silly black body suit, the red jacket, and one of Hokuto’s ridiculous hats.  
  
“All emotions, Subaru-kun,” I commented, gesturing with one hand in the “you know” sort of way.  
  
“They don’t imply caring,” Subaru shot back. I almost expected him to stick out his tongue. This was getting just ridiculous.  
  
So, I pushed Subaru against a concrete wall that marked the out barrier of someone’s front yard , slamming my hands on either side of his face, and leaning forward with a leer on my face. “Jealously, Subaru-kun, is a form of rage and hatred. Both of those emotions can only be born of love or respect.” I leaned down and kissed Subaru, this time without the choke-hold, and I was not surprised this time when he returned the kiss, and even deepened it. Unwittingly, I had leaned against Subaru, so now I had him pinned with my whole boy weight, and I was meeting his eyes from a disturbingly intimate distance.  
  
“Seishirou-san,” Subaru said a little too wisely for my liking, “who is there for you to be jealous of?”   
  
Instantly, my wrath fell upon Subaru. I could smell the choking fragrance of sakura fill the air. Subaru gasped for breath as the smell tried to steal the air from his lungs. I was vaguely aware of the sakura that swirled around me, and all of this was unintentional. I did not come here to harm Subaru. At least, I don’t think I did. I have no idea why I came to Kyoto. What I told Subaru was an excuse.  
  
Since when did the Sakurazukamori have to make excuses?  
  
I took a deep breath, feeling the power of the sakura flowing out of me as I returned to my normal ambient state. Nothing, and I mean nothing, should have caused such an uncontrolled violent outburst from me. I was really falling apart if I was now feeling something so close to rage.... if I was feeling anything.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Subaru said suddenly, surprising me. “I shouldn’t make assumptions about you, Seishirou-san. As you told me, I should remember what you are, instead of trying to make you love me. I should have known you don’t, instead of fooling myself all the time.” Subaru put his head to my chest. “You might as well kill me, Seishirou-san, as you killed Hokuto-chan.”  
  
I took Subaru’s chin in my hand, relieved that he had not realized that I had just had an emotional experience, and lifted his face to look at me. There were tears in his eyes. “No, Subaru-kun. I won’t kill you, because if I do, you will never get revenge for Hokuto. And she will be furious with you in the afterlife for letting her die in vain like that.” This was all lies, of course. If Subaru killed me, Hokuto would beat him to death for being an idiot after she was done beating me to my second death for being an idiot.  
  
But, Subaru looked like he had been slapped in the face, he pushed away from me, and stalked off in the direction that Shiori had gone, with his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. “Seishirou-san, I will see you in the destined year,” was all he said as he left.  
  
I smiled, putting sunglasses over my eyes, and turned my back to him, lighting a cigarette. Secretly, I was suddenly very glad to have the separation from Subaru. Whatever it was that had thrown me so far off, it needed to end, and it needed to end now. “It’s a date, Subaru-kun,” I muttered as I went in the other direction.  
  
My shiki, that had been patient through the entire meeting, waiting for me in a tree while I played with Subaru, came to land on my shoulder and nipped at my ear.  
  
::Can you really make it the rest of the year without him, Seishirou?::  
  
“Of course, you stupid bird.”  
  
::You’ll miss him. What if something does happen to him, and you never see him again?::  
  
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing will happen to Subaru-kun.”  
  
::What if he falls in love with someone else and leaves you forever?::  
  
“What are you, a fortune telling bird? Now shut up, I need to figure out which train to take back to Tokyo.”  
  
The bird went silent. That was when I heard a new voice in my head.  
  
::When you get back, Sakurazukamori, I’m hungry.::  
  
“You shut up, too.”  
  
~*~  
  
The year passed faster than I thought. With the destined year coming, I had twice the amount of work I normally did, and hardly even had to time to read. So, I had settled on something that could be read small bits at a time without interrupting the story. My shiki was actually the one that inspired me to read the book—the “Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe”. I must say, it was nothing short of fabulous, but I had lingered on the poem the “Raven” for several nights, reading it over and over. After my shiki had quoted it to Subaru, it got me thinking about that poem....  
  
The “Black Cat” was another one of my favorites. Oh, and the “Fall of the House of Usher”. In the index of the book, there were a few recommendations for other writings that the reader might find enjoyable, and one was “The Most Dangerous Game”. I read it just before Subaru returned to Tokyo—I must say, I think I found it even more amusing than anything I read by Poe.  
  
Which leads me to what happened earlier this very night. I felt Subaru coming long before my shiki alerted me of where he was or the tree told me that my prey had a arrived in a most foul-tempered way. So, I went to see if this was true, looking around the streets of Tokyo. Of course, this lead to the tree deciding it was a choice time for me to feed it, and so I cast magic to kill some random drunk that came stumbling out of a bar. He was engulfed in sakura petals, and never came back out. The petals literally destroyed his entire body.  
  
Overkill, maybe, but I was in a very good mood indeed.  
  
Plus, that way, no body, no blood, and I didn’t have to go all the way to Ueno Park to feed the tree. So, I jumped up to the top of the building, above where the murder had occurred and watched, as the occasional person would pass over the spot, without even knowing they were walking where someone had just been killed. Finally, the one person I had been looking for came, pausing on the spot everyone else overlooked.  
  
He wore a white trench coat and black pants with a black shirt and combat books. He had dark brown, leather gloves on his hands, which were currently clenched into fists. He grabbed a single oufada and threw it down, as though finding the “x” of a treasure map, and the sakura left behind after the murder shot out into the formation of my inverted pentagram.  
  
“So, you were here,” Sumeragi Subaru, thirteenth clan head, the one who loves me the most, and my prey muttered. He looked skyward, but I was already gone by the time he did. So, all he saw was the starless night and maybe the petals left behind from traces of my mariboshi.  
  
“I told you nothing would happen,” I commented to my shiki that was in flight beside me as I made my way roof top to roof top back to my apartment. The bird was keeping my pace precisely, even though it could have easily passed me because it was on wing rather than on foot.  
  
::You’ve already lost::   
  
I glanced at it, but turned my concentration quickly back to where I was going. When we got inside the apartment, I sat down on the couch, and my shiki-gami settled into the top of the comfy chair. “Subaru-kun has come back. I wonder if he has really turned into a man that could kill me since we last met?’  
  
::He will never be a man who could kill you, Seishirou. But, he might be a man who could kill.::  
  
“They’re one in the same,” I insisted with a smirk. The bird appeared unimpressed. “Ah, why am I arguing with you about this? You’re nothing but a stupid bird.”  
  
::And you are nothing but a stupid human. But, I don’t hold it against you.::  
  
I laughed, unsummoning the bird. It sat in the recesses of my mind where it would always lay dormant unless I called upon it. I had always wondered if that meant that it could read my thoughts at all times, but I felt all the wiser for not asking.   
  
Honestly, I don’t know why I had been losing it a year ago. It must haven been because I met with my prey for the first time in eight years. Now, a year later, I felt ready to face him as the Sakurazukamori should—to the best of my ability. Subaru, I could tell, was at least in a better place than before, if not ready to face me, and really fight me.  
  
It was a level playing field, and Subaru was my best opponent.   
  
Let the games begin.  
  
~*~


End file.
